Today was a fantastic, warm day in Kingwood, TX. The sun was out, the kids were playing, and Katy was radiant. Katy’s mom took Katy, Jen (Katy’s sister), and I out for a birthday dinner. We all have birthdays in the next few weeks. It was Katy’s first time going anywhere since she has been home, and it was AMAZING to see Katy out, and we even went out on the restaraunt’s boat dock and smelled the lake air. Katy reminisced about riding jet skis in the ocean, and the times we went out on our boat. It was a lovely dinner with great company. Arielle was with us, and she was a perfect angel during the whole event.
The wound care, PT/OT continues every day, and Katy has taken over her own therapy. She works out her arms and legs, and stretches her back. It is still very difficult for her to sit up for any length of time, and she gets back spasms and nautious spells. We are adding a little more time in the wheel chair every day, and tomorrow we are going to add a new therapy….harmonica playing. I bought Katy a small set of harmonicas and a neck holder. Tomorrow we are going to try a small jam with me on guitar and her on the harps. Rock N Roll!
Speaking of music, I recorded a few songs while I was in Dallas. Part of my nightly therpay was to sit down with my few pieces of equipment and play music. It helped me to vent, and it allowed me to express the emotions I was feeling when there was no person around to vent them to. I would create challenges for myself, and then record around those challenges. One time it was complete improv session. Another time it was reinterpreting a song by another band. One Wednesday, Katy was lying in the ICU unconscious. A few days had passed without much change in her state, and I was emotionally spent. I couldn’t do anything, and nothing was being done by anyone else. Her numbers were stable, but not trending in either direction, and, after 4 sleepless nights, I felt close to mental and emotional defeat. I kissed Katy at the end of my visit, and I drove to apartment. Outside was sunny and beautiful. When I got to the apartment, kids were playing soccer outside my door. Birds were singing, dogs were fetching, couples were talking on the picnic benches, and I felt the opposite of all of what I was seeing. I wished that I could help Katy. I missed my kids. I wanted our life back, and no amount of strength, threats, or tears, seemed to do anything. I felt like I was wrestling with the wind. So I sat down with my guitar, and a chord progression I had written a year ago. I plugged in and hit “record.” I played 2 guitar tracks, a bass track, an organ track, and used a generic drum machine rhythm. I did everything in first takes (no redos), and did the whole thing in about 2 hours. I recorded in a dark apartment, with the window open and looking out on to the happy scene in front of me. The contrast of what I saw, and how I felt, stung like alcohol on an open wound, but the more I played, the better I felt. Though the recording I ended up with is by no means anywhere close to perfect technically, it is the truest representation of how I felt. It is raw, unedited, and pure. There are no words, because words could not express what I felt on that afternoon. I named the song “Wednesday Afternoon.” I put it on a CD and played for Katy while she was in the ICU. Now she says that it makes her sad to hear it because it reminds her of those times. For me, it takes me back there, yet feels like a battle scar I proudly wear. Though this song will never mean to anyone else what it means to me, some friends suggested that I put out for people to hear. Earlier tonight I submitted “Wednesday Morning” to be put on several music sites such as Amazon, ITunes, Zune, and others. It will take 2-8 weeks for it to appear on all of the different sites, I Tunes being the soonest. If anyone feels the desire to know what that day felt like, this song is the only way I know how to explain. For anyone who chooses to listen to it, I hope you enjoy it, and please forgive all of its impefections.
You’re done. Your music is now on its way to the stores!
I hope all of you have a fantastic Sunday, a great Memorial Day, and a great week! I will write more soon, and I hope to continue to post music as I can.
Love to all,